Harry Potter: The Phantom Musical
by ice-connoisseur
Summary: Roll up, roll up ladies, gentlemen, ghosts, trees, singers and single celled amoebas of all ages! See the amazing Musical! The sequel to the almost success that was Harry Potter: The Musical! Chamber of Secrets, our style!
1. Close Every Door to Me

Greetings! Guess who's back!!!!!

**I be Emma!**

_And this would be Beth!_

And together we be two thirds of Kates Masters Inc.!

Right. So. Remember we said something about September? Well, we actually meant November. It was a typo. Honest.

But…WE'RE BACK!!!!! And that's what matters. After the almost success that was Harry Potter; The Musical, can you blame us? The fans, the screams, the Broadway contracts…or maybe not. But hey! We're just obsessed! In a good way, of course!

Anyways…

Coming now, to a computer screen near you!

**Harry Potter: The Phantom Musical!!!!!**

This foot tapping, hand clapping, roof rising musical has been entertaining people from schools across Flintshire, North Wales and beyond! We hit the Channel Islands, Winchester University, America ANNNND Australia with The Musical…Lets see if the Phantom can go further! _Although how you can get further than Australia is beyond me! (Beth). _Join in with such classics as "_I'm a Little House Elf_", "_Be our Guest_", "_What's That Coming Over the Hill_?", "_I'm Too Sexy_", annnnd "_Reach for the Snitch_!", as well as many others, all rewritten especially for this amazing new new production.

Snippets of reviews from Harry Potter; The Musical:

_This was awesome, very witty and funny. Can't wait for the new one!_ - **moony07**

_Kates Masters Inc! You are amazing! Be proud of yourselves for this is a work of sheer genius!_ – **Mei1105**

_(Eyes widen) WOWE!! That is SO funny!_ – **AugustBaby**

_LOVE IT! YOU GALS ARE GREAT! CHEERS!_ - **PHEONIX39**

_I definitely wouldn't think to combine songs from so many different sources into one thing, but these all work really well together!_ - **SenshiAlchemist**

So come on in and join in the fun!!!!

Dum da la dum!!!! Da la da da DAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(In deep American accent) Kates Master Inc proudly present:

**Harry Potter; The Phantom Musical! **

(Lyrics half made up, half copied from other, much more well known people. Choreography courtesy of Kates Master Inc.)

_Discalimer - do we look like we own any of this? At all? Actually, considering you can't see us, how could you tell? You'll just have to take our word for it. We don't._

**Dedication - To everyone who put up with our maddness last time round!**

* * *

_Lights up Stage Right. **Harry** is sitting on a bed, lit by a single spotlight_. 

**Harry**: Close every door to me,  
Take my true world from me  
Bar all the windows  
And shut in my owl  
Do what you want with me,  
Hate me and laugh at me  
Darken my daytime  
And torture my night

If this place were important I  
Would ask should I stay or go  
But I know the answer  
Will always be go

Close every door to me,  
Keep those I love from me  
Children of Hogwarts  
Are never alone  
For I know I shall find  
My own peace of mind  
For I have, waiting  
Some friends of my own.

_Lights dim stage right as **Harry** freezes. Lights up stage left. **Sirius** is sitting on the floor, his robes torn and grimy. He is also lit by a single spot, with a gobo over it to give the appearance bars._

**Sirius**: Close every door to me,  
Hide all the world from me  
Bar all the windows  
And shut out the light Just give me a number  
Instead of my name  
Forget all about me  
And let me decay

I do not matter,  
I'm only one person  
Destroy me completely  
Then throw me away  
If my life were important I  
Would ask will I live or die  
But I know the answers lie  
Far from this cell

_Spots up full on both, with band of darkness between the pair._

**Both**: Close every door to me,  
Keep those I love from me  
Children of Hogwarts  
Are never alone  
For we know we shall find  
Our own peace of mind  
For we once had with us  
Some friends of our own

* * *

And there we have it!!!! Tis official!!! We are well and truly BACK! Sorry about the random reference to Sirius, but it just seemed to fit! And a gobo, for those who don't know (most of you, we expect), is a pattern you fit over a theatre light to create a silhouette pattern – in our case, prison bars. 

So. Updates, as usual, every Saturday. Song suggestions much appreciated! And, for anyone interested, we have a collection of recordings from across the entire Musical series recorded by our own fair voices (and Hannah and Kate's.) If you want one, let me know, and I'll see what I can do. I did try to send them out in the summer to those who requested them, but I've a feeling the emails bounced.

And that's it for this week! In the words of our dear friend Tash…

_Roll up roll up ladies, gentlemen, ghosts, trees, singers, and single celled amoebas of all ages! see the amazing musical! And don't forget to leave a review!_

Next week...Dobby does a take on that popular nursery ryhme...


	2. I'm a Little House Elf

**Greetings! I be Emma!**

_And I be Beth!!!_

And we be two thirds of Kates Masters Inc.!

So…wow. We're finally updating! Sorry about the general lack of afore mentioned updates in previsous weeks, we've had the North Wales Brass Band Championships to prepare for, and then **my **birthday, and then **my** party, so we were all a bit sidetracked.

Disclaimer – We are two poor little welsh girls. We own nothing. Not Dobby, not Harry Potter, not the copyrights to the following song. Sue us if you wish. You won't get much for it.

Love and birthday cake to **Mei1105, brokenrose26, Bardlover, Emmas Padawon, Len87 **and** kneesocks99 **for the lovely reviews!

**For those of you who asked for the musical recordings they are coming! Soon! I promise!**

* * *

_Lights up center stage. **Harrys** bed is under a white spot, **Harry** standing to one side looking dumbstruck, **Dobby** stnsading on the bed._

**Dobby**: I'm a little house elf, short and stout  
Here's my tea-towel, here's is my snout  
When I mis-behave you'll hear me shout  
Just grab my arm and punish me!

I'm a clever house elf, yes it's true  
Here's an example of what I can do  
I can stop your letters from your friends!  
Just grab my arm and punish me!

* * *

Sorry it's so short!!!! We're a biut stuck for ideas at the moment…

Next week…Harry climbs out of his room and into a car. And this time, it will be next week!!! Honest!

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please!!!


	3. Get Outta That Room

**Greetings! I be Emma!**

_And I be Beth!!!_

And we be two thirds of Kates Masters Inc.!

**Ok. This time I really mean it. We are going to get on top of this updating thing. Honest. I could use the excuse that the second book is my least favourite, but that wouldn't be the full truth. In reality, life goes on and on and on and never seems to give us a break. How cruel of it. Plus, Beth appears to have currently lost interest in this. She will return. I shall make her. (Insert cackle).**

**For those of you who didn't see it, we did post a Christmas oneshot of the musical on Christmas day, to tide you all over! Go take a look, we wrote it in the car on the way to school, and it caused much hilarity!!!**

**Reviewers, I love you. Really I do. I would thank each of you by name, but my email system has folded up, so I can't even open the inbox anymore. But I send my love to any and all who review.**

**So, extra long rant over with, on we go again!!!**

**Disclaimer – I've just paid £185 for a VetLink course at Nottingham Uni, and I'm about to pay another £205 for another one in the summer. D'you think I have anything left to pay out in a law suit??? I truly don't own any of this; even the idea is shared. So don't bother, you'll get nothing.**

This one is to the tune of "_Get outta my dreams/Get into my car_."

* * *

_Lights up full stage. **Harry** is sitting on his bed stage left – there is a diagonal screen running from front stage right to back stage left. In the middle of this is an open window, through which the **Weaselys** car can be seen._

**Fred**: Hey you, get in to this car

**Harry**: Who me?

**George**: Yes you, get in to my car

Woooooooooh. Wah! Hey!

**Harry**: Who're those people  
Flying through the sky?  
Whose is that car?  
Who's that wizard  
Looking through the window?  
What's the score?

_**Ron** pushes **Fred** away from the window, and leans through._

**Ron**: We'll be the friends  
Rescuing you  
Hey Harry Potter  
Pack up your case  
We'll be your non-stop saviours  
Let us help you while we can!  
You wished for a miracle  
Here we are!

_**Twins** appear either side of **Ron**._

**Twins**: Get outta that room  
Get in to this car  
Get outta that room  
**Ron**: Get in to the back seat Harry  
**Twins**: Get in to this car  
**Ron**: Beep Beep, yeah  
**Twins**: Get outta that room  
Get in to this car

Ooooooh

**All**: Oh I said hey (Hey) you (You)  
Get in to this car

_**Harry** begins moving about the stage, packing the trunk._

**Fred**: Harry Potter  
Let me take the wheel  
**George**: Uncle's a-coming  
Fetch Hedwig!  
Hey, let's make it to the sky!  
Make it real  
Like a road runner  
Coming after you  
Just like a hero  
Outta the blue

**All**: We'll be your non-stop saviours  
Let us help you while we can!  
You wished for a miracle  
Here we are

_**Harry** scrambles through the window – **Uncle Vernon's** voice can be heard off stage, shouting._

**Twins**: Get outta that room  
Get in to this car  
Get outta that room  
**Ron**: Get in to the back seat Harry  
**Twins**: Get in to this car  
**Ron**: Beep Beep, yeah  
**Twins**: Get outta that room  
Get in to this car

Ooooooh

**All**: Oh I said hey (Hey) you (You)  
Get in to this car  
Oh Harry, lets go!

_The diagonal screen rises, and the car rotates so that it is facing the audience_.

**Harry**: I said open the cage

**George**: Let Hedwig out

**Harry**: She's been cooped up

**George**: Let Hedwig out

**All**: Yeah (Yeah) yeah (Yeah)  
Yeah (Yeah) yeah (Yeah)  
Let's go!!  
Oooh, wooow, yeah

**Weasleys**: We'll be the friends  
Rescuing you  
Hey Harry Potter  
Pack up your case  
We'll be your non-stop saviours  
Let us help you while we can!  
You wished for a miracle  
Here we are  
Get outta that... get outta that...  
Woooooooooh  
Get out that room!

* * *

Thank you for reading!!! Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to you all!!!

Next week…the Weasleys invite Harry to be their guest.

Reviews, while not being received at the present, are still much appreciated!!!


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